I see the beginning of myself starting before my birth: the product of many generations that worked laboriously to help me get where I am today. My name is Jesse Emiliano Vela and I am a Los Angeles native of the second generation to be born in the United States. Like a mirror, I can be partially characterized as a reflection of the ethics I have seen. My parents do not have bachelors; my father doesn’t even have an associate degree. My grandparents, from Mexico, worked multiple jobs to provide – and even though they had white collar dreams, they still continued to excel in the warehouse. Still, they laid the foundations for my mother to lay down-payments on a house and my father to own his own business. Meanwhile, I was absorbed by my artistic practices. I wrote film ideas, practiced stop-motion, made illustrations, and was fascinated by all aspects of world-building. My storytelling, in the form of loosely-stapled picture-drawings, was my main form of communication with my last living grandparent who only spoke spanish. And when the fruits of parents’ labor began to spoil, I would later consider that the beginning of my second-life.

Losing our house and having to move every box out ourselves, I realized I had to work like those before me – because I was the fruit that wouldn’t spoil. I exercised this inherited work ethic in every aspect of my life: I wrote a book that combined progressive political interests and historical fascinations and I gained scholarships into secondary institutions. I continued working hard, getting a full-ride to Northwestern. Moreover, I gained interest in research through a program (SCJAS) where I studied the mental health stressors of Latine high school students under the mentorship of a CalState professor. I felt isolated as the only Latino and the only participant with a parent in a field nowhere near science. Still, I was empowered.

At Northwestern, I pursued English to prepare for pre-law so I could buy my mom a house. Continuing research, I participated in programs like URAP where I studied Puerto-Rican political repression. I also joined internships with the Chicago Bar Foundation to help underrepresented populations navigate the legal system. Still, my history with art motivated a burning passion I could not neglect.

While doing these programs, I shot my first short film on an iPhone – directing, writing, scoring, editing, etc. It was a visual poem based on Aztec folklore, where I used the symbolism associated with a “dirt-eater” goddess to speak on how I “ate dirt” for my struggles with sexuality and ethnic identity. My focus on POC actors persists today and also covers some of future ambitions to support artists who face obstacles in their need to express themselves on the highest level. I soon joined the Mellon Mays Undergraduate Fellowship to attain a PhD, crafting a thesis around personal experiences and theories of abjection, affect-based practices, and self-conception.

Nevertheless, my creative passions shined through as I continued making films. Practicing live-action, stop-motion, 3D modeling, I made films that incorporated surrealism to speak on culturally-specific and personal themes like identity and generational trauma. By the end of my stay, I had been accepted into festivals like NFFTY while also earning grants from my institution. I worked tirelessly to pursue my vision, even handling the production side and gaining a sense of self-determined dependence when necessary. By this time, it was clear I was to continue down this path.

I was accepted into the masters program at California Institute of the Arts where I continue to practice collaboration and self-reliance, still being awarded grants like the ICAP grant as I continue to evolve all dimensions of my work – from screenwriting to filming to animation. I take on many hats – director, writer, producer – and work as many as three jobs to make things happen. I hope to soon see the start of my third life.